| Category | Crime | Points | Explanation |
| Nuisance | Fines Up To 10K | 1 | 1 point for every $10k of fines |
| Nuisance | Suspensions - 1 Game | 1 | |
| Nuisance | On-field Humiliations | 1 | covers Leon Lett type mistakes. |
| Nuisance | Suspensions - 2 to 4 Games | 2 | |
| Nuisance | Apologizing to Team | 2 | |
| Nuisance | Academically Ineligible | 2 | Didn't make the grade |
| Nuisance | Losing One Scholarship | 2 | two points for every lost scholarship |
| Nuisance | Fines 10K to 20K | 2 | Fines 10K to 19.99K |
| Nuisance | Off-field Humiliations | 3 | covers things like selling your championship ring. |
| Nuisance | Caught Cheating | 3 | |
| Nuisance | Fines 20K to 30K | 3 | Fines 20K to 29.99K |
| Nuisance | NCAA probations - One Year | 3 | three points for every year of probation |
| Nuisance | Apologizing to Family | 3 | |
| Nuisance | Fines 30K to 40K | 4 | Fines 30K to 39.99K |
| Nuisance | Apologizing to Fans | 4 | |
| Nuisance | Suspensions - 5+ Games | 4 | Includes the 'indefinite'. |
| Nuisance | Losing Two Scholarships | 4 | two points for every lost scholarship |
| Nuisance | Fines 40K to 50K | 5 | Fines 40K to 49.99K |
| Nuisance | Fines 50K and Up | 6 | Fines 50K and Up |
| Nuisance | Suspensions - season | 6 | Must be more than 5 games or 50% of season |
| Nuisance | NCAA Probations - 2 Years | 6 | three points for every year of probation |
| Nuisance | Losing Three Scholarship | 6 | two points for every lost scholarship max 3 |
| Nuisance | Resign In Shame | 7 | Or fired in shame |
| Nuisance | Kicked Out of League | 7 | This is different than season suspentions. Can include the Clemson rule of not allowing your team to play in a bowl. |
| Nuisance | NCAA probations - 3Yr | 9 | three points for every year of probation |
| Small-Time | Liability Up To 300K | 3 | |
| Small-Time | Property Damage | 4 | |
| Small-Time | Trespassing | 4 | |
| Small-Time | Wrong Place Wrong Time | 4 | For Small-Time crimes committed to the athletes. |
| Small-Time | Violence Against Athlete | 5 | Must be during sporting event. Limited to five counts per event, game, match, or other fan attended sporting event. |
| Small-Time | Moving Violations | 5 | Cannot be combined with a DUI |
| Small-Time | Liability 300K to 900K | 6 | |
| Small-Time | Indecent Exposure | 7 | |
| Small-Time | Restraining Order | 7 | Includes being issued one or breaking it. |
| Small-Time | Buying Sex | 8 | Not married |
| Small-Time | Forgery | 8 | Includes things such as signatures. |
| Small-Time | Crimes Against Nature | 8 | Can include things like spitting on Umpires and being possed by deamons. |
| Small-Time | Using Soft Drugs | 8 | |
| Small-Time | Misdemeanor Domestic Abuse | 8 | |
| Small-Time | Petty Theft | 8 | Under $100 |
| Small-Time | Parole Violation | 8 | |
| Small-Time | Fighting | 8 | Other team - does not include Hockey fights or bech clearing brawls unless extreme. |
| Small-Time | Resisting Arrest | 8 | |
| Small-Time | Buying Sex and Married with Children | 9 | |
| Small-Time | Adultery | 9 | |
| Small-Time | Drunk and Disorderly | 9 | |
| Small-Time | Under Age Drinking | 10 | Basically partying and being caught while under 21. Not Deliquancy of Minor. |
| Small-Time | Slander | 10 | Includes Libel |
| Small-Time | Sexual Discrimination | 10 | |
| Small-Time | Delinquency of a Minor | 10 | Basically partying with a minor and getting busted doing it. |
| Small-Time | Improper Benefits | 10 | Being paid in college for example |
| Small-Time | Illegal Gambling Activity | 10 | |
| Small-Time | Mayhem | 10 | |
| Small-Time | Pimping | 10 | |
| Small-Time | Concealed or Illegal Weapons | 11 | |
| Small-Time | Taser Usage | 11 | If the cops or security have taser an athlete. One count per jolt. |
| Small-Time | Violence Against Fan | 12 | Three or fewer athletes who commit violence to fan(s) can be busted using this law. No weapons, including hockey sticks, are used against the fan. Beer or other non-bludgeoning objects are not considered weapons. |
| Small-Time | Drinking and Driving | 12 | |
| Big-Time | Selling Soft Drugs | 13 | |
| Big-Time | Liability 900K to 4M | 13 | Must be over 900 Thousand |
| Small-Time | Fraud | 13 | Includes acedemic fraud and 'less than conspiracy' crimes |
| Big-Time | Wrong Place Wrong Time | 7 | For Big-Time crimes committed to the athletes. |
| Big-Time | Public Urination | 9 | |
| Big-Time | Assault and Battery | 15 | the actual police use of this term |
| Big-Time | Aggravated Mayhem | 20 | |
| Big-Time | Team Mascot Violence | 20 | Can include whacking a sausage |
| Big-Time | Bribing Cops | 20 | When not successful |
| Big-Time | Theft | 20 | over $100 |
| Big-Time | Using Hard Drugs | 20 | |
| Big-Time | Assault with a Deadly Weapon | 25 | Guns, Knifes, and other assorted killing tools. |
| Big-Time | Liability Over 4 Million | 25 | |
| Big-Time | Pistol Whipping | 30 | |
| Big-Time | Sexual Assault | 30 | |
| Big-Time | Conspiracy | 30 | |
| Big-Time | Blackmail | 30 | |
| Big-Time | Taking a Dump in a Laundry Hamper | 30 | The 'Davenpoop' rule |
| Big-Time | Selling Firearms Illegally | 30 | |
| Big-Time | Selling Hard Drugs | 32 | |
| Big-Time | Aggravated Assault | 35 | |
| Big-Time | Beating Wife/Girlfriend | 40 | |
| Big-Time | Other Felonies | 40 | Individually reviewed |
| Big-Time | Violence Against Fan | 45 | More than three athletes in the act of violence, or one athlete using a weapon to aid in their violent crime are eligible busts. |
| Serious-Criminal | Wrong Place Wrong Time | 10 | For Serious crimes committed to the athletes. |
| Serious-Criminal | Robbery | 40 | |
| Serious-Criminal | Robbery Liquor Store | 50 | |
| Serious-Criminal | Armed Robbery | 50 | |
| Serious-Criminal | Attempted Murder | 65 | |
| Serious-Criminal | Rape | 75 | |
| Serious-Criminal | Manslaughter | 75 | |
| Serious-Criminal | Murder For Hire | 75 | Being Employed By Or Employing |
| Serious-Criminal | Child Molestation | 85 | We were hoping this law wouldn't be needed. We were wrong. |
| Serious-Criminal | Murder | 100 | |
| Idiocy | Being a One Point Idiot | 1 | Requires 48 hour vote; majority rules |
| Idiocy | Being a Two Point Idiot | 2 | Requires 48 hour vote; majority rules |
| Idiocy | Being a Three Point Idiot | 3 | Requires 48 hour vote; majority rules |
| Idiocy | Being a Four Point Idiot | 4 | Requires 48 hour vote; majority rules |
| Idiocy | Being a Five Point Idiot | 5 | Requires 48 hour vote; majority rules |